torsdag, april 23

For a few hrs ago, i talked to a friend whos i havent talked for a long time... she flew away from this country for months and i nearly forgot the picture of her. Why? We never really became close friends and started to tear apart when she told me the truth about her boyfriend and my ex-boyfriend. Complicated. I know. But i'm glad that she also moved on and realised what kind of boy he was or should i say is? But we talked about what happend these past months when she was gone, its difficult for us to be less-than-close-friends, but why? Well, boys will always be boys and girls will always be jealous of friends who gets it when you self couldn't get it.
Am i expressing it clear enough? Well, at least i should be glad that we had out chit-chat, because nothing is the same as before anymore, nothing! Apart from that I'm still living with my mother.

I'm not sure that i'm having any close friend to trust anymore, i'm backing up, learning from my mistakes to not so easy trust people. If i'm saying that i'm trusting you, don't believe me, cause i won't trust you to 100%, i'm still afraid of telling you secrets, my crushes, afraid of gettin to the same hole again because i've leaved the period where i was so depressed and turned my face to alcohol and drugs. i've quitted, but i'll still have my exeptions. i still have my friends graduation pre-party, the last asian party before i leave and to the last, my birthday and my friends graduation party together in one smash! well at least im not yearning for alcohol anymore ;p hihi! well, the 3 am now! gotta go to sleep soon, but first gonna need a smoke to clean my mind!

catch you up later!


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